The book 'The Heart of Anger' describes two different homes. One is the the Child-centered home and the other is the God-centered home.
Here are some characteristics of the children in the Child-Centered home:
- Interrupt adults when they are talking.
- Use manipulation and rebellion to get their way
- Dictate family schedule (include meal times, bedtimes, etc.)
- Take precedence over the needs of the spouse.
- Have an equal or overriding vote in all decision making matters.
- Demand excessive time and attention from parent to the detriment of the other biblical responsibilities of the parents.
- Escape the consequences of their sinful and irresponsible behaviour
- Speak to parents as though the were peers.
- Be the dominant influence in the home.
- Be entertained and coddled (rather than disciplined) out of a bad mood.
Now contrast that with children in the God-centered home:
- To joyfully serve others.
- To cheerfully obey parents the first time.
- To not interrupt parents who are speaking to each other.
- To understand they will not always get their own way.
- To work their schedule around their parents' schedule.
- To have input into family decisions but not necessarily an equal vote.
- To understand that God has given their parents other responsibilities in addition to meeting their needs.
- To suffer the natural consequences of their sinful and irresponsible behaviour.
- To not speak to parents as though they were peers but honour them as spiritual authorities.
- To esteem others as more important than themselves.
- To full fill various household responsibilities (chores).
- To protect themselves from certain bad influences.
- To not divide parents over disciplinary issues.
- To not be more intimate with either parent than the parents are with each other.
Ladies, which model does our home best represent? I hope this list provides a starting place for us to see weak spots and strengthen them so that the rich Christian homelife can come shining through.
(List from 'The Heart of Anger' by Lou Priolo)