Acceptable speech....

I.  What is Acceptable Speech? – Anyone? Moms? Teens? Girls? Is it pleasant greetings, manners of please, thank you, you are welcome in your conversation? Is it thoughtfulness in remembering to ask about another’s well being? Is it complimenting another on some new article of clothing? What say you? What sayeth the Lord? Proverbs 31:26 “She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. Wisdom is the right use of knowledge

A. What is Wisdom from above? – James 3:17 “But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy.

1. Pure – clean, holy - I Peter 1:22 obeying the truth, genuine love of the brethren
2. Peaceable – quietly behaved, comforting – I Timothy 2:2 godliness and honesty
3. Gentle – kind and meek - Titus 3:2 speak evil of no man
4. Easy to be intreated – easy to be persuaded, approached – Ps 119:58
5. Full of mercy - kindness or good will towards the miserable and the afflicted, joined with a desire to help them – Matthew 9:13
6. Full of good fruits - that which originates or comes from something, an effect, result – Philippians 1:11
7. Without partiality - undistinguished, unintelligible – I Timothy 5:21
8. Without hypocrisy - unfeigned, undisguised, sincere – I Peter 1:22

B. What is Kindness? – Romans 12:10 “Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;”

1. Kindly affectioned - reciprocal tenderness of parents and children
2. With brotherly love – as you love your own family
3. In honour preferring one another - to go before and show the way, to go before and lead, to be an example
4. Tenderhearted – easily moved to love, pity, or sorrow
5. Forgiving – to pardon without penalty - Ephesians 4:32 “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.”

II. What is Unacceptable Speech? – James 1: 26 “If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain.”

A. What is Evil Speaking? – I Peter 2:1 “Wherefore laying aside all malice, and all guile, and hypocrisies, and envies, and all evil speakings,

1. Malice - desire to cause pain, injury, or distress to another
2. Guile - akin to Old English wigle divination, witchcraft
3. Hypocrisies - a feigning to be what one is not or to believe what one does not; especially: the false assumption of an appearance of virtue or religion
4. Envies - painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess the same advantage

B. What is Backbiting? - to say mean or spiteful things about one not present - Proverbs 25:23, 24

C. What is Whispering? - spreading confidential and especially derogatory reports - II Corinthians 12:20 “For I fear, lest, when I come, I shall not find you such as I would, and that I shall be found unto you such as ye would not: lest there be debates, envyings, wraths, strifes, backbitings, whisperings, swellings, tumults:

D. What is Boasting? – to speak of or assert with excessive pride, to possess and often call attention to - Romans 1:30 “Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents,”

E. What isTalebearing? – Proverbs 11:13 “A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.

F. What is Tattling? – idle talkers

G. What is a Busybody? – given to meddling, inquisitive – I Timothy 5:13 – “And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.”

III. What Causes Unacceptable Speech? - I Timothy 5:13 “And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.”

A. Idleness – vain, inactive, shiftless, lazy, not employed (mothers, work with your daughters, teach them to work, require them to work)
B. Wandering - aimless, slow, or pointless movement (mothers, don’t allow laziness)
C. Hypocrisy – Proverbs 11:9 “An hypocrite with his mouth destroyeth his neighbour: but through knowledge shall the just be delivered.”
D. Ignorance – Proverbs 11:12 “He that is void of wisdom despiseth his neighbour: but a man of understanding holdeth his peace.” (Mom’s teach your daughters)
E. Foolishness – to talk long and idly, chatter – Proverbs 10:8 “The wise in heart will receive commandments (instruction): but a prating (to talk long and idly) fool shall fall.” Also III John 10 – “Wherefore, if I come, I will remember his deeds which he doeth, prating against us with malicious words: and not content therewith,”

IV. What Happens When We Use Unacceptable Speech?

A. We offend – James 3:2 “For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body
B. Devilish behavior – Titus 2:3 “The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;” [accuser - adjective Diabolos (dee-ab'-ol-os)]
C. Hatred without a cause – Psalms 109:3 “They compassed me about also with words of hatred; and fought against me without a cause.”
D. Deceits – Proverbs 12:20 “Deceit is in the heart of them that imagine evil: but to the counsellors of peace is joy.”
E. The Devil Controls Us – John 8:44 “Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.”
F. Our Reputation is Ruined – Proverbs 11:22 – “As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion.”
G. Our Fellowship is broken – I John 1:6 “If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth:” 

V. What If We Hear Unacceptable Speech? 

A. Conceal It – Proverbs 12:23 “A prudent man concealeth knowledge: but the heart of fools proclaimeth foolishness.
B. Submit to God – James 4:7 “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”
C. Resist the devil – James 4:7 “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

VI. What If Someone is Uses Unacceptable Speech About Us? Romans 12:17-21 

A. Return No Evil – “Recompense to no man evil for evil.”
B. Be Honest – “Provide things honest in the sight of all men”
C. Be Peaceable – “If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.”
D. Take No Revenge – “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.”
E. Don’t Be Taken In By The Devil – “Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.”
F. Examine Your Heart – Psalms 26:2 “Examine me, O LORD, and prove me; try my reins and my heart.” Just in case in there is some truth to the matter.

VII. Three Kinds of GOSSIPERS – Ultimately, the need to gossip is all about the gossiper’s desires to promote him or her self. If someone is bad or worse than you it makes you better… right? Wisdom from hell – James 3:14-16 – “But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.”

A. Malicious
1. To be consciously and deliberately hurtful
2. Out of Selfishness and Jealousy
3. To break up relationships and destroy friendships

B. Rationalized
1. Self deceptio
2. Doing for the “good” of the other person
3. Out of “personal concern”
4. As a “prayer request”

C. “Innocent” (but indiscrete)
1. Someone truly concerned
2. Unwise and insensitive to other’s feelings
3. Desire to be “helpful”

VIII. The Godly Solution

A. James 3:17 “But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.”

B. Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”

C. Psalms 119:165 – “Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.”

D. Matthew 18:15 “Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.”

IX. Ask Yourself This Before You Speak: Ephesians 4:29-32 “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tender hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.”

A. Is my information pure? Or am I changing it just a bit? (corrupt)
B. Will it help to build up the hearer? (edifying)
C. Does it help the hearer to draw closer to God? (grace)
D. Will this make the Holy Spirit grieve? (sorrowful)
E. Am I bitter, feeling vengeful (wrath), angry?
F. Do I just WANT others to KNOW? (clamour)
G. Will this make me look more spiritual and better than others? (hypocrisy)
H. Would this make the object of the “news” feel hurt?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~OR~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I. Am I being kind to tell this information? (loving this person as myself)
J. Am I being tender hearted? (easily moved to love, pity, or sorrow)
K. Am I being forgiving? (pardoning without exacting a penalty)

Proverbs 10:32 “The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable: (follow that still small voice) but the mouth of the wicked speaketh frowardness.”