Antjie

Antjie

Saturday 12 October 2013

Redeemed From The Void


She enters her house of broken dreams
Walking through darkness to find her way
Quietly she grasps the broken handle of her dresser drawer
Shaking with anticipation
To be set free
She then looks up
Noticing her distorted reflection within the mirror of reality
Tears fall from her bloodshot eyes
Wipes them away
She continued to open the drawer
Ignoring what she is being shown
Reaching for devices that fill the emptiness
She places them on her bedside table

She lays upon her bed of thorns
She lights the end of her half broken cigarette
She gazes at the light that enters a crack on her pull down shade
She gets lost within the smoke
That is dancing within the light
To the song within her mind
Contemplating over what never was
The moment takes her further away
Traveling to secret places nobody knows

She longs to be free
But she simply can’t see
Demons have bound themselves to her soul
And they whisper within her mind of muddled daydreams
Lies of hopeless tomorrows

She reaches over to her bag of self destruction
And prepares herself to fly
While she says this is the last time
As she has done so many times before

Just as long as it took to light the flame
Her fragile body collapsed to the floor
She grasps the cracks within the wood floor below
She claws her way to the crack of light coming through her pull down shade
Shredded fingernails and blood spots leave a trail from behind
She finally comes to her resting place
Laying there helplessly on her back
She could not discern the forced delusion
She looks up and she asks; Is this all there is to life?
Stillness comes upon her and she closes her eyes

Eyelids became like windows as the room filled with light
She trembles in fear knowing she had to face reality
Comfort came over her as Jesus touched her heart without words
She covered her face in shame
She did not feel she deserved the grace of His love
The walls she had built crumbled
And sank to her oceans floor

She then cried out to Him and said, “Lord I am tired and weak please do not ever leave me.” He once again spoke to her heart and said, “I never left you, I was here all along, I have been waiting for you.”

©5-19-2010 Kimberly Dawn